22: An Ode to Being.

I want you to see me beyond the hair

The flesh, the curves, the lips

The pedicures, the clothes

All the artificial shit.

I want to be naked and raw

And nude and undressed

But for you to look at me

And see something more than sex.


Can I be with you?- not your family

Your friends, the past, the negativity?

The shit that makes me wanna slash the tires

On your Camry?

Cause I don’t wanna call thirty-seven times

Leave thirty-seven voicemails

With thirty-seven personalities

And thirty-six said “Go to Hell!”


I just wanna be.

Left alone or coupled or yours or someone new’s.

Because if you still can’t love me

What do you want me to do?

Live a half-truth to satisfy you?

Suppress half of me to make you whole despite my unhappiness?

It’s like… you just can’t stand who I am

But be damned if I’m someone else!


So stay and let me be me or leave and let me be free.


Cause we’ve been through this a dozen times

And I’ve written at least a dozen poems

And I’ve dated again- a dozen signs

But a dozen times I’ve come home.

A dozen times we’ve reconciled

And a dozen times I’ve been exposed this way

But 11 times you’ve been too insecure

So will the dozenth time be the same?

 

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