Traphouse Blinds: A Comedy

“Ma’am! WHY do your blinds look like that?! Lol!”

Those damn birds chirping woke me up.
Then someone fell and called for their mom

The school bus is seven minutes late today

Get those kids the hell off my lawn.


Who’s that cussing in the street?

When did teenagers get this grown?

You wanna litter Hot Fries in my yard?

Do you do that sh– at home?!


You always blocking my mailbox on the weekend

You always makin a u-turn in my driveway.

360 days a year I don’t get anything

But dammit… UPS just might come today


The space between neighbors’ fences ain’t no shortcut;

You better walk to the corner and bust that right.

I hate to be on the couch half asleep.

And you set off all the security lights


I don’t care if you notice me noticing you

Call the HOA and report me if you want!

I know I’m nosey with these traphouse blinds

I get a notice about them every month!


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